Perfectionism is an interesting idea. Many consider this term a compliment, some pride themselves of being a perfectionist, whilst some would even say that they wish they are a bit more of a perfectionist.  However, as a psychologist, I have to say that a huge chunk of my time is actually spent helping clients learn to be less perfect.  

People with perfectionism tend to find control an essential part of their lives. Of course, we all need to have a certain level of control to be able to operate in our daily lives effectively. However, for people with perfectionism, their sense of control is often excessive. The underlying belief is that “If I am in control, I am safe”. Therefore, they often spend an incredible amount of time trying to be in control. This can manifest in over-preparation, such as packing absolutely everything into their bag before they go out, or spending too much time reading before they start writing their university assignment. Some people might also try to be in control by following rigid internal rules, such as doing house chores in a meticulous way, or being super self-disciplined.

Those experiencing depression often express a sense of hopelessness or helplessness. Like no matter what direction they walk, whether they go under, over, around, or through different obstacles, nothing changes. Sometimes it can feel even worse!

So what can we do when we’re stuck there? There is good evidence to suggest that there is a close relationship between our activity and our mood. When we are feeling happy and content, we spend time with people we value, do activities that provide satisfaction and pleasure, and take up new challenges. These activities have a positive feedback loop: doing things we enjoy gives us feelings of pleasure, challenging ourselves means that we have a chance to grow, and having positive relationships with other people makes us feel connected and valued.