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5 days ago

Centre For Effective Living

I've been thinking a lot about someone lately...
I seem to follow them on social media...
Stay in touch with whatever is going on in their world...
And sometimes I have to hold myself back from sending a PM to connect..

I actually started thinking about them last year as we planned my 2019 direction...and steadily I have been refining my thoughts about how I can reach into their world and somehow connect....

I suppose because I have been doing this lots, this post comes to mind to share...something from my world today...If it resonates with you, perhaps you might be the one I have been "stalking"...

Amongst my roles, I am the mother of 2 teenagers. I planned to have a clock off evening last night. As I emerged from my shower, I walked into a storm. A head on head engagement with one of them. I can tell you there is no training in Psychology that equips you in that moment. I did not sleep well as a result. The morning I was aware that I just wanted to avoid another engagement. Generally two dominant emotions will emerge here - anxiety or anger. Really, they both bleed into the other.

I have, however, been thinking a lot about staying connected with our family even when it feels so difficult. I have been working hard on un-agended connections. That is, acknowledging there are some difficult emotions swirling, regulating my emotions, and staying connected in a neutral and unagended way. What does this mean? It means throwing a bid for connection that really has no expectation for any solution, emotional shift or reward. Observing something neutral about the same thing you are looking at. Asking a question about something quite trivial - like have you seen the tomato sauce. Or in my case this morning, asking about the latest hobby purchase that was made. Asking about the difference between this and that - did they know?

Unagended connections signal that we are still in the same tribe, we are still interested in one another, we are still part of the same picture, we still love each other. It is not avoidance - we still acknowledge the issue, and agree to talk about it at a later time we can agree to. Then the day continues, some laughs come through, eventually the mood lightens, and the real questions can be asked.

So... if this resonated with you...you might be guessing the direction I am going next, and the group of people I am looking to connect with to extend their battery life as they bid and build....Stay tuned 🙂
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