On Being A Man

by | Feb 5, 2018 | Mens Mental Health | 0 comments

Do you feel like you fit the male stereotype? Do you experience frequent negative thoughts saying you should?

Men, just like women, can be often plagued by self-doubt or insecurities. Many of the male clients I come across say to me that they are not good enough or are a failure. There are a number of reasons they give me. These range from not being successful enough at work, to not having a built up physique, to being too anxious or shy. Common statements I hear are “If I am not successful then I am a failure”, “If I am not an attractive male then I’m not good enough”, and “If I am too shy and awkward then I’m less of a man”.

It is quite common for men to seek out a psychologist to address their underlying negative beliefs about themselves or to address their self-doubt. In therapy, a psychologist can help you to adjust the rules or expectations you place on yourself to be good enough. A psychologist can help you in understanding what makes you good enough, regardless of how successful, confident or attractive you may be.

To start off challenging what you believe makes you a ‘good enough’ man, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:
– What do I think I need to be good enough?
– What made me believe I need this to be good enough?
– In what ways is this expectation unreasonable? Unrealistic? Unfair? Unhelpful?
– What are the negative consequences of having this expectation?
– What is an alternate healthy expectation?
– What can I do to put this into practice on a daily basis?

Many men find that having a trusted professional can help them in the journey to develop a more healthy view of themselves and a greater sense of confidence. Along with this, men see psychologists for a variety of other reasons, including anxiety in social situations, stress at work, and depression. Should you wish to see a psychologist, please give us a call on 1800 832 588

Michelle Dean
​Psychologist

Valerie Ling, MClin Psych, BA(Hons), MAPS, has helped clients of all ages find their voice and their way. Valerie has worked in community health settings as well as hospital inpatient and outpatient settings. Her private practice work has been located previously in North Turramurra, North Ryde and now in Westleigh. Some of the issues Valerie has helped her clients with include Depression, Anxiety Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Trauma, Body Image and Eating Disorders, and Child and Adolescent psychology. Valerie began her career as a consultant in the corporate world, working internationally in talent assessment and development. As such she is able to engage with her clients facing career transition or work related stress. Valerie is interested in supporting non-for profit and religious organisation workers to prevent burn-out and mental health issues, childhood Anxiety Disorders and PTSD.

Valerie is currently onsite at SMBC and Moore College. If you are a student at SMBC or Moore College it is now possible to have your appointments onsite. Student appointments are taken by filling out the online enquiry form here.