Do you feel like you fit the male stereotype? Do you experience frequent negative thoughts saying you should?
Men, just like women, can be often plagued by self-doubt or insecurities. Many of the male clients I come across say to me that they are not good enough or are a failure. There are a number of reasons they give me. These range from not being successful enough at work, to not having a built up physique, to being too anxious or shy. Common statements I hear are “If I am not successful then I am a failure”, “If I am not an attractive male then I’m not good enough”, and “If I am too shy and awkward then I’m less of a man”.
It is quite common for men to seek out a psychologist to address their underlying negative beliefs about themselves or to address their self-doubt. In therapy, a psychologist can help you to adjust the rules or expectations you place on yourself to be good enough. A psychologist can help you in understanding what makes you good enough, regardless of how successful, confident or attractive you may be.
To start off challenging what you believe makes you a ‘good enough’ man, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:
– What do I think I need to be good enough?
– What made me believe I need this to be good enough?
– In what ways is this expectation unreasonable? Unrealistic? Unfair? Unhelpful?
– What are the negative consequences of having this expectation?
– What is an alternate healthy expectation?
– What can I do to put this into practice on a daily basis?
Many men find that having a trusted professional can help them in the journey to develop a more healthy view of themselves and a greater sense of confidence. Along with this, men see psychologists for a variety of other reasons, including anxiety in social situations, stress at work, and depression. Should you wish to see a psychologist, please give us a call on 1800 832 588